Why does water break my heart?

We really enjoyed the sun today. It felt so good on our skin! The kids rode their bikes and we took a long walk.

By the end of the day, I wondered if I had kids under that dirt! In the bath they went. Alex was the last to get a bath. When I came in to wash his hair, the bath water was a funny redish color. Then I notice Alex had his hands behind his back. I asked him what he was hiding. The tears started flowing and he pulled his little hand out from behind his back. It was the valentine candy box a friend had given him-- all limp and mushy. Alex said: "I don't know why the water broke my heart." Poor little guy, he felt so bad. Then I explained to him how his little valentine heart was just cardboard, and the water would wreck it, just like water would wreck paper. He seemed satisfied with that, and didn't feel so bad.

Spring 2006!

Spring is officially here! Why? The gophers are making mounds! We have so many gophers here. One year they ate 12 rows of my dad's corn. The funny thing is, they don't eat the whole kernel, just the heart of it... then they continue down the row!

The kids and I go out and trap gophers, and dad pays us for them. Luke has already caught 3 this year! He is getting to be quite the hunter! It was cute, we had gone out to check traps and Luke had gotten a striped gopher. It was quite dead. He said: "Look, it already has rheumatism!" What he was meaning is that it had rigor mortis already. :)

We went to my grandpa's 93rd birthday today. I seen some cousins that I haven't seen in a long time. It was fun. The kids enjoyed all the goodies! Mya was drinking her kool-aid and looked at me and said: "It looks like it tastes like something, but it doesn't." Ha! It was a red color, but still tasted like water. Gotta love the kids!

It has been really muddy here. The kids just love it. Little Isaac seems to fall into it face first about 2 seconds after he gets out in it. The kids were out playing outside and Alex came running to me crying and said: "Mom, the saran wrap doesn't work on my shoes anymore!" (He was talking about the velcro!)

The kids and I get out once a week and do all our errands. We usually hit Walmart, the grocery store, and the library. We just stopped at the library and Violet had come up to talk to me. Alex, 4 years old, was still in his car seat, and decided to entertain himself by kicking Violet. She asked him politely to quit. He answered her back with: "One more time, and then I am done. He is such a different kid! Keeps me rolling!

Violet is taking great pride in her reading and understading the world just that much more. She is definately the motherly type. Isaac will even go to her, if I am busy.

Isaac is walking/running. He is learning to say a few words. "Nana" is Jana (my sister), "lilet' is Violet, Nyna is "Mya", uk is "Luke", suddenly he has started calling me "Ma". He used to call me "momma". I prefer Momma. He sounds like a little goat: "ma, ma, ma, ma". He LOVES when someone sneezes. Then he will say (really slowly) aaaahhhhh ahhha ahhhh tooo (achoo). The kids love doing this with him!

We are working on our bus, and looking forward to riding in it. We haven't ran it this winter, as there was no heat and we got a little chilly in there! Even Isaac gets all excited when Daddy started up the bus the other day!

Well hello! It sure has been nice and warm out. Our garden is planted, and all we have left is to put a fence around the garden, so the rabbits or raccoon don't steal our food! Each of the kids wanted to plant something. Luke planted carrots. Violet planted sweet corn (her favorite!). Mya planted green beans. Alex planted cucumbers. Isaac and I planted potatoes and tomatoes! We all planted strawberries and raspberries too! What a busy spring!

Luke likes to "save" trees--little trees-- that people pull out of their gardens. He takes them and will find a place to plant them. Last year he "saved" a maple tree, and it is about 6 inches tall now!! He also bought a tree last year. It is supposed to have purple flowers in the spring. I cannot remember the name of it. That is doing really well too!

We had planted an orange rose in memory of baby Anna. Last fall, I was so tired and pregnant, and I didn't take time to bury it. I thought for sure it was dead this fall. I even prayed for it (that is how desperate I am!). Well it is growing!! HURRAY! I had bought 2 other roses too, but they both died. We bought another orange rose this year. Our second spring without baby Anna.

The kids are growing so fast! Luke is getting to be an A-1 reader! He loves to work with plants. He is growing an aloe plant, jade plant, spider plant, and baby tears in the house. He is also trying to get a walnut tree to grow from seed.

Violet just loves the outdoors. She is so good with the little kids--"my little mommy". She has patience where Luke is lacking. ;D She loves to try and figure out how things work. We got a pen that has four colored pens that you can flip between. She thought about that for a long time, then we took off the cover, and she was so thrilled to see that there were 4 pens in there!!

Mya is my little learner. She likes workbooks and school work. She picks things up quick. She is proud that her green beans are up now!

Alex, now he is a different dude. I was mowing lawn the other day, and I had the truck outside with all the windows open to "air" it out. I looked over at the truck as I was mowing and Alex was in there. I didn't think too much of it... all the windows were down, and I figured he had somehow gotten the door open. Later, he came to me and told me he had climbed! into the truck! What a monkey! We also had just explained to him about how if someone is sick, they can get dehydrated. He came to me when we were outside and said: "Mom, I am tirsty (thirsty), I better get some water, because I don't want to get hydrated." He is a thinker too. He will just sit by me as I am making supper and ask me deep questions... man, sometimes I wish I had all the answers!

Baby Anna would have been one this spring. We released balloons on her due date. We got a letter from a gentleman in the Lake City area. Last year one of her balloons went to Missouri!

Baby Isaac is almost 4 months now! He is such a sweet, laid back kid. He takes a nuk... none of my other kids ever took one for very long... so we will see. He is looking around and really exploring the world with his eyes. He giggles and smiles a lot! He enjoys all his brother and sisters. Luke and Isaac seem to be especially close. It is fun to watch them bond!

Almost 3 months old!

Isaac is almost 3 months old now!! Wow! How fast it goes! He is such a smiley baby. He is happy most of the time, but likes to sleep in mommy's arms. Whenever I lay him down, he cries. If I don't get to him right away, his brothers' or sisters' are there to sing, talk, and love him up!

Isaac is a daddy's little boy. He can be totally crabby and not want anything to do with me, then I hand him to his daddy and he turns into a sweet, smiley little boy. *laughing*

He is just getting over his first cold. One day when the cold was harshest, I couldn't get him to smile at me. Then his daddy came home and what do you think he did??? Yup, he gave him a big toothless grin... stinker.

We are truly blessed with the 5 kiddos God has allowed us to hold on this earth.

4 weeks

It has been four weeks since our baby was born. I hold him now and think how totally blessed we are. When he wakes up at night, I hold him and don't even dare think of complaining. I know too many people that would give their right arm to be able to be awake holding a sweet healthy little baby in their arms. I was one of those people last year, after we lost our precious baby girl, Anna ( http://www.annalilyheaven.blogspot.com ).

I worry more about this baby's health. I have heard so many stories now, know so much can happen to a baby. I never realized how innocent and naive I was before our Anna died. I never realized.... never dreamed in my worst nightmare that I would join the ranks of those that will always have a piece of their heart missing....until we meet and hold our babies again in Heaven.

I went into Labor on Feb. 15, around supper time (5:30 pm). I knew they were different contractions and hurt. But I really didn't say anything to anyone... afraid they would just peter out. It was bed time and I looked at hubby and said: "Do you know how to get your body to go into labor?" He looked at me with that "look". I said: "tell yourself there is no way in heck you will go in labor with the bad cold and cough that you have." As I had been coughing and felt so miserable for the last 3 days.

He got all excited and said there was no way he could sleep. I lied to him and said they weren't bad and that *I* was going to sleep. I wanted him to get some rest, and I wanted to work with the contracts on mine own for awhile. As soon as he was out, I snuck out of bed and did some rocking thru the contractions, then I laid on my ottoman (the footstool for my glider) and worked thru them. That ottoman was one of the best tools I had during this labor.

11:45 pm my water broke. I decided to wake hubby and get the midwife here. She lives 2 hours away. My other attendant (a friend and chiro), was to get back home at 12 midnight. So we called her too, but was unable to get ahold of her.

Labor was a lot of work. Especially when so many fears and people's words come back to you. I have heard so many: "you can NEVER have a child naturally." My 2 dd got "stuck" pretty far down, so I was so scared that I would get stuck there again. This fear didn't come out until I was pushing. I was so afraid that everyone was telling me baby was coming, but they were lying to me somehow.


I had a cervical lip that was giving us problems. So my midwife applied GLA (like evening primrose) to my cervix and my chiro explained over the phone a pelvic pressure (pelvic press) that would help open the cervix up. WIth these two things, baby was soon past the cervical lip.

We did get a hold of my friend/chiro at 5:30 am and she came into the house and started making noises and "dancing" with me. It was really great to have someone that did the "song and dance" with me and she gave me energy, when I was feeling so tired. She helped me know what noises helped baby come down. The midwife would tell me to breath, and my friend would breath, helping me to "get" what the midwife was saying.

I got to a point when I felt like giving up. Like things were not progressing. My midwife must have felt this. She asked if I felt I was progressing. I looked at her and said: "NO." Both of my labor supports looked worried at this (knowing that your mind can do some wild things). So my midwife told me to feel baby's head inside of me as I was pushing, and I would feel his head come down. So I did. And he was moving!!!!! This was my motivation.

I rubbed his head as he crowned. Oh, such an awesome and inspiring thing! As soon as he was born, the midwife passed him between my legs (I was leaned forward) and I got to check out all his little parts. I got to hold, kiss, and love him FIRST!!! He wasn't sucking, and the midwife said that one lip had come out first and then his jaw (like his mouth was open). My friend the chiro did some cranial sacral on him and soon he was nursing like a champ!!


Oh yes, his name is Isaac Jaben (meaning: Laughter, God has created). He was my BIGGEST baby so far 8 lbs 8 oz 21.5 inches long. Born Feb 16th at 10:06 am. Lots of black beautiful hair (I could feel it as he was crowning)! I didn't tear at all, he came soooo Slow! Almost excrusiatingly slow. His big blue eyes are looking at me this very moment. He seems so alert, such a beautiful color, so calm. Wow!

We had told NOBODY that we were doing a homebirth, and have had SOOO much positive response. My mom, who I thought was against homebirth was thrilled!! She said that she was so proud that I could go out and do what I wanted. My 92 yr old grandpa was thrilled. He had been so mad at the Drs. for not letting me even try.

I do have to say, that I think I would have been a failure if I had been at the hospital. I needed all the cheerleading I could get, and I had it at home, but if anyone would have given me any negative feedback, I think I would have listened to that more.

They took so much time with me at home. I found that even though I *thought* I could do it on my own, I needed the support of the two women that just kept telling me it was going to happen. I could do it. I found it very encouraging to look over at my midwife throughout the labor and find her praying...

My 4 kids got to watch their brother come into the world. My dh even said that the three oldest kids got down on their bellies so they could have a bird's eye view. I have never seen kids bond to a baby so quickly. That night dh held his newborn and rocked in the glider, and said there was nothing better in the world....


For those of you that don't know my story. I had 4 c-section because of a "prominant sacral". I found out that I did have a tailbone that was very tucked in when I was pregnant with baby #5. She passed away at 16 weeks, and I went and got an x-ray. We found out that my sacral had been broken when I was a little girl. One chiropractor said he didn't think it would be possible for me ever to have a natural birth with that pelvis, so I went looking somewhere else. I found a chiro that said, she thought I could. She did cranial sacral, kinselogy (sp?), and the Thomas method (drop table method) on my tailbone and got it to come out to a better position. I also did one hour session of myofacial massage around my c-section scar. The massage therapist said this released the tailbone too.

I did have a lot of pain as my sacral and tailbone moved, and they are sore today, but nothing according to a c-section!!!

I feel so free, so thankful, and so very blessed.

Ruth

Momma to 6
5 on earth
1 in the arms of Jesus www.annalilyheaven.blogspot.com